


Conflicted

by Anonymous



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-01-26 06:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12551476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Lost. He was lost. Confused. Alone. A mindless puppet. Maybe that’s what they wanted him to be.





	1. 1

“Wake up.” They said. “Go here.” They commanded. “Help us.” They pleaded.

“That’s who you are.” They reasoned.

He was lost, confused. Hero this. Champion that. They called him the _Chosen One._

He sure as hell didn’t feel like it.

(No, what he felt like was a youth thrown unwillingly into a war. He knew nothing, remembered nothing. Not even his own name…)

Lost. He was lost. Confused. Alone.

A mindless puppet.

Maybe that’s what they wanted him to be.

========

He found himself staring into a puddle that had formed from the recent rainfall: into the water that reflected his image.

What he saw there was a young man with blue eyes and blond hair.

Not the warrior they said he was.

He tried to see it. Tried to see the hero within him. The _Champion._

Was he? Was _this_ his duty?

No - his _desire?_

(They - _she_ said she _remembered_ him. That she knew him - that _he_ knew her once upon a time. Impa. He didn’t remember. To him, she was just another person. Another _them._ She told him this was his destiny. That he offered his own sword willingly… That it was his duty…)

And when he glanced down at his hands, he _couldn’t see_ it. Couldn’t see himself on the path they had paved for him.

(A voice. Familiar. It was _her_ voice - but it was different this time. This… this wasn’t an insistence from Hyrule Castle. No… The voice this time - it was uneven. Uncertain.)

_Would you have chosen another path?_

And when he glanced up, and towards the castle. It was the same voice. It _was_ but, at the same time it wasn’t. And this time, the voice… it sounded distant. It couldn’t have come the castle. But then… _where?_

Just _what_ then was it? His vision wandered before he saw a tree. Familiar…

He had seen this tree before…

(It wasn't foggy. It wasn't misty. It didn't feel foreign or strange. Unlike when anybody mentioned his past… So it must be from after he woke up.)

Where? Where? He hadn't been in this area before…

And then, then it came to him and he pulled out the Sheikah Slate. The pictures!

He flipped through the images before he found it. Found the image that corresponded with the sight before him.

And that voice returned. Not the confident, proud voice from the castle. No, the uncertain and nervous one.

_It doesn’t look like this will let up anytime soon…_

And the memory coursed through his mind. Of finally _seeing_ the woman who sent him on this mission. (No, no. She was just a girl now. Scared. Alone. Weak. Forced into something she didn't want. Forced into something she couldn't do. Told that it was her destiny. Her fate.)

And she asked him:

_Would you have chosen another path?_

Wondered, if he had been in her shoes, if he would be as confident as he appeared to be. If he had been told by everybody that this was his destiny, would he have stayed on the path he had chosen for himself?

And, for the first time since he woke up, Link found himself laughing.

========

“We need your help!”

As he found himself wandering: finding shrines, finding villages and stables, activating towers... he happened across a Zora. (A few, actually. And they all pointed him in the same direction.)

And now that he was here…

The Zora that greeted him was _tall._ He was _red._ And he was smiling. (No, that was a beam. A grin. It was _almost_ infectious.)

“Hylian! A Hylian! Will you help us?”

_Help us…._

That was what _they_ had said. But… But this Sidon - was it? - was _not_ associated with _them._

He was _different._

(That is what Link called those like Impa. Or Zelda. Or her father. The Sheikah… those that knew who he was supposed to be. Those that demanded such from him.)

What Sidon was asking, however, was for help from a Hylian. Not the help from the Champion.

He could do that. So, he nodded.

========

As Link trekked up the pathway, he found himself thinking back to their conversation on the bridge. And, while he, personally, had not said much, Sidon had seemed to _understand_ him. Sidon hadn’t _looked at him funny_ when he had introduced himself.

Unlike the Hylians he had come across so far.

(They had always hollered at him. Greeted him in such an _informal_ way that it seemed almost _rude._ Link supposed the times had changed but, still, it bristled.)

No, instead those golden eyes sparkled and the words that came out his mouth next were ones that were more familiar to Link’s ears. He felt himself relaxing muscles he never realised that were tense.

(Because, even when he communicated with those who spoke in this way, he was always on edge. Because it was Impa, or other elderly Sheikah. It was those who watched over the shrines… It was always _them._ )

He found himself _enjoying_ their conversation. He found himself not having to dismiss the air of informality.

Different, yes Sidon was most definitely different - but the good kind.

========

The other simply did not meet him at the domain either. No, he would greet Link from the water. He would encourage him. He would praise his swordsmanship. (And while that might have made him uncomfortable, Link remembered: he was just a Hylian. He was just a Hylian. Yes, Sidon may have found his name familiar, but he know not from where.)

And, Link found the familiar words and phrases… comforting.

(Strange, how he found words familiar even without his memories. Strange, how such a simplistic thing gave him comfort, and made him feel as if he belonged… Strange, but welcome.)

========

When Link crossed the final bridge he found the large Zora waiting patiently for him. In front of a stunning structure.

The domain.

It almost seemed to glow from its radiance alone. The waterfalls that fell from the upper levels seemed endless.

“My father is awaiting your arrival! I will meet you in the royal hall!”

There was that grin again, and Link would have returned it - if it weren't for the shocked expression of the guard, and the way he said his name.

“Link?!”

========

Apparently, the Zora had a longer life span. Apparently, the Zora remembered him.

And, apparently the Zora did not like him.

(He had been cautioned not to speak to the Elders. Why, he knew not. He didn't want to know. He didn't ask.)

Initially, Link had thought that Sidon had only heard his name through tales told - but it seemed that that was not the case. Did he ever meet Sidon all those years ago, he wondered.

Link was also briefly told about the Zora champion, the one whose beauty was immortalised within a statue.

(That only caused a foreboding within him.)

There was the passing mention of Ruta as well - the Divine Beast.

(He was starting to put together the pieces now…)

However, it was the statue that had distracted his thoughts. And he was mesmerised. Drawn to it, as if there was a magnet within it…

Mipha - they called her.

(Why? Why did her name sound so warm? Was it merely due to how they spoke it?)

The nervousness at the fact that they had remembered him was long forgotten. The apprehension of being known as the Champion as opposed to just a Hylian was gone.

...That's what they called her too, wasn't it? Champion.

Had he known her? Probably. No, it was almost impossible for him _not_ to know her…

“How **dare** you show your face here Link! After what you did to Lady Mipha…”

The accusing tone snatched Link out of his reverence towards the statue, and he turned to see… well an old-looking Zora.

(...A Zora who spoke like Sidon. Like the guard at the gates… but this time those words had a bite to them.)

“What I-”

What? **What** had he done?

“Get lost!” He spat. “I don't ever want to see your face again!”

Link turned back to the statue. What had he done to this beautiful Zora? What had he done to Mipha?

“Link?”

The voice came from above him, and was soon followed by a small splash at his side.

“Here I was, wondering what was taking you so long, but I see my sister has enraptured you. Beautiful, wasn't she?”

That earlier sense of foreboding returned.

_Wasn't?_

And, so, Link turned up towards Sidon with a sad curiosity in his eyes.

That past tense, the fact that she was immortalised in stone… did that mean…?

“Ever since Ruta had become corrupted…”

Link decided he didn't like that sad smile on the others face. Even if it was shaken away. 

“She was commanding it when it happened… So we can only conclude that she was lost when the war was lost.”

It… it was _him_ that lost the war, wasn't it? He had fallen in battle… He watched the water lap at his feet.

He had lost, and Mipha had paid the price. No wonder why the Zora disliked him so…

Because of him, they lost their princess.

(And, now, Link realised: Sidon. He was the prince. He was… Mipha was… They were _siblings._ )

“Link?”

And, despite his better judgement, Link glanced up at his name.

“You… you appear worried.” Sidon brought a hand up to his chin and hummed. “Ah - did Trello say something to you? My apologies. The Elders… they do not see eye-to-eye with my - our - mission. They believe that we can solve the problem on our own. Or - more specifically - without the help of Hylians.” He shook his head. “They harbour grudges of long past, against a man who befell the same fate as my dearest sister. And they hold it against all of his race.”

He. **He** had done this…

There were hands on his shoulders.

“Worry not Link, we shall prove them wrong.” That toothy grin was back. “I have faith in you Hylians.”

This time, the only thing Link felt when he saw that grin was guilt. Guilt and the sense that Sidon would not be smiling at him if he knew…

He wouldn't have that faith…

“Now, let us go see Father.” As the Zora led him with a hand at his back, Link could hear a group of female Zora giggling and muttering something about formal speech.


	2. 2

“Ah, it is my son and the Hylian he brought to the domain…”

The one who spoke was the one who sat on the throne. A Zora of large proportions - even larger than Sidon. The gaze that met his was one of gentle kindness.

However, that was not the case from the much smaller, and frail-looking Zora at his side. His back was hunched, his featured drawn and saggy with age.

_An Elder._

No, the gaze there was hard and full of anger. A far contrast to the king’s.

Link glanced down, and away from that harsh gaze to bow.

He noticed Sidon continuing forward to take his spot at the king’s left.

However, Link listened attentively but silently to the King as he commended his efforts and actions. Listened as introductions were made.

He couldn’t stop thinking however: What if? Couldn’t stop glancing to the side to see that fuming gaze directed at him. Couldn’t stop hearing: _After what you did to Mipha!_

This was her _family._

And, as the King began to explain their situation, he had paused before Link could hear the throne strain as he leaned forward.

“Link?! Are you truly him?”

His stomach dropped.

“The Hylian Champion?!”

Yes. _Yes._ He was the man who caused Mipha to…

It was Sidon’s turn to follow suit. To lean forward and gasp in surprise. To look him up and down, and put together the picture. That, while the prince had not know who he was on sight, while the prince had not even thought to even correlate the Hylian of now to the one of a hundred years ago, once the facts had been pointed out to him…

Sidon recognised him. He _knew_ just who he was.

And Link stomach bubbled with _something._ Because Sidon _knew._ Sidon knew that he had failed his sister… That he failed their race. That he--

“Link?! _The_ Link?!”

...The tone, it hadn’t changed. No… it as still welcoming. In fact, it almost seemed…

In _awe._

...What?

He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t sad. He didn’t blame him.

No -- he was excited. Happy.

And King Dorephan -- he was _proud._ Proud of his son to bring such a _reliable_ warrior to help them. Nostalgic to the point of tears. Ecstatic to know that the war was not _completely_ lost.

What… what was going on here?

He had… and yet…

“You… you remember my daughter, don’t you my dear friend?”

They called him their _friend._ How? _How_ could they?

He looked back down. He clenched his fists and shook his head.

“Amnesia. A… side effect.” He explained tersely and remained looking down at the water. He couldn’t face them. Couldn’t face them and their smiles. Couldn’t face them and their welcoming words.

He didn’t deserve them.

That. That was the thing they were concerned over. His amnesia. Not the fact that he _killed_ Mipha -- just that he had _forgotten_ her.

“The two of you were so close…”

(Link wondered… was _that_ why her name sounded so warm?)

His stomach continued to bubble -- but _thankfully_ Sidon changed the topic. He shifted it away from Mipha - _his sister_ \- and back to the subject at hand: Helping the Zoras.

(This. Yes, this was something he could deal with. This was what he came here for. Perhaps, it wasn’t as he envisioned, that it wasn’t just a mere Hylian helping the Zoras, but this was what he promised. It wasn’t dealing with foggy, odd things he couldn’t fully grasp it. It wasn’t dealing with memories that were beyond his reach. It was just a man helping another out.)

But the Elder - oh he had been quiet until now. But now that it was revealed that he was not _any_ Hylian, but _the_ Hylian…

He objected. He _insulted_ him. And then. _Then…_

He stated the elephant in the room:

“It is _his_ fault why Lady Mipha was taken from us…”

(There was something… _something_ about the way he phrased it that settled uneasily within Link.)

He pointed out his earlier flaws and failures…

And silence took hold of the royal hall.

Because there was no denying it: It _was_ his fault. He had failed. He **failed.**

(And there was the something. That _something_ from the way the other phrased his sentence…)

“I-I need a moment. P-Pardon me.” Link hastily bowed in departure before turning and leaving the hall.

He heard Sidon calling after him.

========

Link found himself looking out to the skies -- to where the rain was coming from -- towards Ruta.

The Divine Beast.

He… He had just wanted to help the Zora. He just wanted to be the Hylian they needed, not…. Not _this._ Not be the _Champion._ Not the man they knew as both a hero and failure. Not… not…

_Would you have chosen a different path?_

The beast cried out into the night air. As if it knew of his existence and his attention towards it.

And yet… just _where_ was he? Here. _Here_ amongst the people that remembered him, that hated him, that cursed him. On a mission that coincided with the one that he had so desperately tried to avoid.

Because he… he _wasn’t_ this champion everybody heralded him to be. _How_ could he be? He didn’t remember it. He was no hero. Was no Champion. Just some boy dressed up to be one. He couldn’t feel it. Couldn’t remember it.

And yet, that was all that he was told he was.

\-- _Just_ like Zelda.

Granted… he was starting to remember… but… even _that_ was hard. It was like looking through _somebody else’s_ eyes. It was merely bits and pieces. Things here and there but…

Sure. Sure he remembered Zelda’s laughter by now. Her smiles. Her tears. Her sorrow and despair….

He remembered his name. Remembered feeling that _yes_ that was his name but…

He just couldn’t remember _himself._

Certainly, yes, once upon a time he _was_ the Champion. Once upon a time, he followed the princess and protected her. His mind was telling him that. The Sheikah were, and even now so were the Zora.

The question, however, remained:

Was he _still_ the Champion, or was that a just merely a title lost to time?

“Link - my father wishes to apologise on Muzu’s behalf.”

That voice -- it was Sidon.

Why? Why was this Zora friendly to him? Why did he smile? Why did hope fill his eyes? Why was the voice so soft and concerned?

Link shook his head and tightly gripped the railings. “Still, he is right.” He gritted out slowly. “...The only reason I am standing here today, is because I failed all those years ago. I failed Sidon. That is a fact.”

The only other replied with a soft utterance of his name. It was sad. It was worried. It was what it shouldn’t have been considering…

“I was put into a deep slumber. To recover from the wound I sustained in the battle. The king, he was right. I fell Sidon. But somebody, somewhere picked me up.” He felt his arms trembling now. “And, while I slept… Hyrule suffered - _Mipha_ suffered. Because I **failed** them….”

Large hands were gently prying his away from the railings.

“Let’s go visit my sister.”

Link wanted to protest, but Sidon shook his head the moment Link opened his lips, a gentle smile on the prince’s face.

“I think I have a better understanding of what had drawn you here earlier.” The smile was still gentle and calm when they approached her statue. “Do not blame yourself for her loss Link. She was a champion as well, and Calamity Ganon threatens not only you Hylians, but all of us. The Zora. The Gorons. The Ruto. The Gerudo. All of Hyrule. Mipha gave herself to this cause - knowing that it could result in her death. Wars - they cause death and destruction on both ends, and she unfortunately became a casualty.”

The Zora’s hands were on his shoulders now. “You did not take her from us. All she wanted… was to protect Hyrule - to protect _you._ ”

And, as Link stated at the statue, he could see the way that serene face crinkled into a smile.

_”You know, this reminds me of when we first met…”_

He remembered. Remembered the way her laugh _danced._ The way her golden eyes sparkled. The warmth of her hands on his and the cool embrace of her healing magic as it healed him. Remembered that contentment and happiness as it filled his entire being at her promises of always being there for him.

He remembered _her._

“She… she cared a great deal about you Link. Why not spend the night at the inn? We can continue the meeting in the morning. I’m certain your climb has tired you a great deal. Might I suggest the waterbeds? They are quite rejuvenating.”

Those hands left his shoulders and Link was left wondering just _why_ he was left cold and empty…

=======

“Linny!”

Oh. God. Was this some age-old nickname of his? He looked at her, trying to portray his confusion.

“What? You do not remember me?” She pouted at him.

Link sighed but shook his head and pointed to it.

“Amnesia.” He simply stated.

Her face fell. “Such a shame. We were childhood friends. You, Mipha and I.” She shook her head and smiled at him however. “Why don’t I refresh that memory of yours over dinner - you _are_ spending the night, yes?”

That… that might actually be nice. Link nodded.

=======

The conversation with Kodah was enlightening, if not a little… disturbing. It left a lot up to consideration. He couldn’t be too sure, but it seemed that she was… _jealous_ of Mipha.

...Were there any grounds to it?

(The memory of Mipha was still a bit too foggy to accurately read it…)

At the very least, the waterbed _was_ comfortable.


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Irradiated Mouse: I agree! It is nice to see how different people decide to interpret the thoughts! Thank you for your comment! The story will involve plenty of Link's thought processes! I hope you continue to enjoy!  
> @Oneofmanyfandoms: Daw, thank you! Fitting, since I started writing by writing poety. And of course I plan on updating. But it will take me at least a week (or, more probable, longer) to get the next chapter up. (If I am trying I can typically get one chapter written, and edited, within a week. However, I do have a life outside of writing! Thus chapters can take longer than a week.)

He had been woken up by a jovial voice and a toothy grin.

“How are you fairing this morning, Link? Better, I pray? How are these waterbeds? Personally, I have never tried them but I have heard-”

Link had initially groaned, but he soon couldn’t help but snigger. Just **how** could anybody be so enthusiastic and cheerful in the morning?

“Give the poor lad a chance to wake up, my prince. Linny has never been a morning person.”

Thankfully, Sidon did take a step back to allow Link to get out of bed. He covered up the remainder of his laughs and yawned ever so slightly.

At the very least, the morning was looking brighter already.

=======

Despite himself, Link found his smile faltering slightly - all too aware as to _why_ the meeting had been postponed until the morning…

“Link?”

He met golden eyes, and Link shook his head just trying to deny the concern that was staring him down.

But determination shone in those eyes as well, and a hand found his shoulder. “What ever happened to that spark I saw on Ingo Bridge, my friend?”

There was that word again: friend. He didn’t deserve that title. He had done nothing to warrant it. He was just Link…

Link couldn’t keep meeting that gaze, so he looked down.

“...Why do you call me such?”

To be honest, Link had plenty of other questions, but he didn’t want to offend the other. (Despite everything, despite the fact that Sidon _knew_ who he was, despite the fact that he had done wrong to Sidon…. Link found that he still liked Sidon. That he still enjoyed his company. Because the Zora saw him as a _person_ , not as some _Champion_ , although… he wasn’t too certain how much of that was the truth anymore.... But Link hoped that Sidon still liked and respected him for _him_ and not because of some destiny. He seemed to before he had found out. Although… since the meeting… he could still hear it. Hear the awe and fascination in his voice as he realised just _who_ he was. That Sidon only referred to him as friend _after_ everything…)

And yet, despite Link’s efforts, Sidon sounded offended.

“Are… are we not? Can I not regard one who offers assistance to my people and me as a friend?”

His eyes wandered back up, to see the way Sidon’s face knitted together with a torn, troubled expression.

It made him bite his lip guiltily. But… it was…

“I have not yet done anything but offer. I have done no actual assistance as of yet.”

But then, there was a smile. It was soft. Did… did Sidon understand his troubles?

“Very well then, Link. I shall reserve that title until you feel deserving of it.”

With an exhale, Link’s shoulders relaxed. Sidon understood. Sidon understood, and accepted it. Despite _everything_ he...

Sidon’s remaining hand joined the other on his shoulder before the slid down to hold the sides instead.

“And yet, I still do not see that spark, Link. Another issue bothers you, does it not?” The squeeze was gentle, as was the expression on the prince’s face. “Pray tell, Link. Why do you lack your earlier enthusiasm at assisting us? What causes such a morose expression upon your face?”

Why? It was the same reason. Same as before. He didn’t _deserve_ this kindness. This gentleness. It was… it was…

“Is it due to the Elders?”

Sidon’s words were hesitant.

Yes, and no. Because it wasn’t _just_ them. It wasn’t just…

“Mipha?”

Link continued to bite his lip. It was _something_ he couldn’t quite put a finger on. He shook his head.

He didn’t understand Sidon. He didn’t understand _this._ Just why… _Why_ Sidon… He struggled for words. Struggled to explain. He gestured between the two of them.

“It’s… It’s…. _this._ ” He tried.

Because Sidon should - bless him for not - **despise** him. It was his fault. **His.** He was prepared to take responsibility. To take the consequences but…

Sidon didn’t seem to blame him. No. He was kind. Caring. **Comforting.**

And it confused him. Because… Sidon was respecting his wishes to not be treated as the Champion -- or something close to that. And yet, if Sidon was doing such, then why? Why was he so kind to either a stranger or to the man who was responsible for Mipha’s death? She was his **sister.**

But, ultimately this wasn’t about Mipha. No. This was about Sidon.

“Your… your kindness.”

And his head hurt. He just... He didn’t know _anything_ except what others told him and….

And those eyes remained soft.

“You have every reason to…” He shook his head again. “I mean… yes, but… there’s also the fact that I’m… I’m not…”

Sidon’s hands were keeping him steady despite his trembling. Those understanding gold eyes stabilising him.

“I… I don’t understand…”

Those hands twitched slightly but remained firm where they were.

“I believe **I** do, Link.” He smiled sadly. “I harbour no grudge towards you for who you happened to be back then.” Link felt Sidon’s thumbs gently caressing his shoulders. “And, as per your wishes I shall allow you prove to me who you are _now._ ” The zora exhaled neutrally. “My faith in the young Hylian who has offered assistance has not changed, regardless of who he may have been.”

Sidon took a step back now, if only to sift through a pack at his side. “Come, let me show you something, and I can offer some explanations.”

=======

And so Sidon explained, not in severe details, but he mentioned that, as Link had suspected, Ruta was involved with their peril.

And _because_ Ruta was involved, Link required specific equipment. Thus, what Sidon had brought over. He also mentioned that handing the Zora Armour over was best to do in private, as Muzu would more than likely object.

Sidon also urged him to put it on prior to the meeting to help and try to sway the surly Elder. Because if Link was already wearing it, well he couldn’t really object, now could he?

Link could only agree. The less Muzu talked, the better it was for his mental state.

Idly, Link let his hands wander the scales.

_Think of it as a loan, if you will._

Sidon’s respect really was helping. However, for a loaner, it _did_ fit like a glove…

=======

Link had expected the shock and indignation that greeted him upon reaching the Royal Hall. Expected the offenced, angry expression.

“Relax Muzu,” the King started, “as you can see, Link here is wearing the armour with _ease._ ”

Surprisingly, that sentence had halted the protests as the Elder took a good, long look at him. “...Very well…”

Huh… Link really hadn’t expected it to go that smoothly. But, he supposed that Sidon knew just how to turn his people to his side…

“What do you require my lords?”

=======

As the meeting continued on, Link had learned just why the Zoras required another race to assist them in their endeavor. Shock arrows. Ruta. And that the suit allowed him to climb waterfalls.

When the King had apologised for placing such a heavy burden on his shoulders, Link, very briefly, mentioned that he required access to the beast anyway.

He tried to ignore the eye roll Sidon gave him.

Tried.

But thankfully, Sidon had quickly followed it up with a promise to get him there. And that ridiculous toothy grin.

So, at the very least, Link’s snigger had a more… reasonable excuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you rather the replies be at the beginning or end? (And if you just reply with "End" or "Beginning" I probably will not reply, except for a general thank you.)

**Author's Note:**

> Any comments will be replied to using the author notes.


End file.
